DiminutiveRocker
Well-Known Member
Keeping you and your whole family in my thoughts, Benni! 
Purple and Black
Taking Independent and Unofficial Back
Taking Independent and Unofficial Back
Been a rough couple of weeks...
- Thread starter benni
- Start date
benni
Well-Known Member
I'm glad I had the chance to see him and to give Leslie a hug. She's really having a hard time dealing with everything. And I just cannot imagine what she is going through. First baby Ryan and now Timmy. It's too much for anyone to bear but she's a strong woman, she's getting through it, somehow. But no, she isn't staying in St. Louis. She's been driving back and forth. She lives about an hour away and goes there daily. On the weekends she'll leave very early, so she can be in his room when the doctors come in. During the week, she heads up there as soon as she gets off work and stays with him until visiting hours are over. (She works in a local post office.) She just seemed very tired when I saw her and so sad. Leslie was always the chipper one of the two of us, always so happy go lucky, outgoing, just a bright personality. Where I was always so quiet, shy, withdrawn. It hurts to see her this way, but it's understandable with everything she's gone through recently. Timmy has 3 children, who are in foster care right now, all of them under the age of 7. Abel will be 7 soon, Rosie age 2, and little Mia who just turned 5 months. Leslie had them for a short time, but between work and Timmy, and lack of daycare in their area (especially for Mia) she went ahead and had them go to foster care for awhile. They haven't told Abel about his father yet, wanting to wait until they can have a counselor there (Abel was very close to his dad). I don't know what reason they gave him for having to stay with Grandma and now with strangers. I offered to take them, but Leslie wanted them close to her so she could visit them every weekend.
As for help, they don't have anything set up. I may talk with her about setting up a Go Fund Me. No matter which direction they go, he'll have medical expenses, or long term care costs, or burial costs. I don't know why I hadn't thought about that. Thank you, Gemini, for asking. I DO know that right now, they could use lots of prayers, healing and positive vibes.
My son said that he's not hurting as much today. He did try to go back to work day before yesterday, but they sent him home because he was running a fever. That was one of the things we have to keep an eye on. But it was gone by the evening. He decided to not work yesterday, to give it another day, and did go back to work today. He said that he's so relieved to know that he'll have insurance starting next month. He's not had any insurance in years and didn't tell me until this happened. I was not leaving Missouri until I got him signed up for insurance. But we're past the crucial 7 day point for him. He's still at risk for the next week, but the risk has decreased a lot for there to be any leakage of cerebrospinal fluid. So I'm feeling a bit more relieved at this point. I'll feel even better once his insurance starts and he gets in to see the plastic surgeon, to be able to take care of reconstruction they might need to do.
benni
Well-Known Member
My sister called last night. Seems that my nephew has an infection, they think, but they told my sister and her ex that they want them to sign a DNR. They think that his chest is expanding and that it could be related to his heart, but they aren't sure, and they don't want to do a CT scan because they aren't going to do surgery if it is. But they want my sister and her ex to agree to the DNR without know for certain that is what is going on. Leslie said that she wants her ex to make the right choice, but for the right reasons, not because "they think it's what is going on". She said she feels that the hospital is trying to manipulate Jim without giving him all the facts. The hospital told her that if it is heart, that if they were to do resuscitation that it could make the brain damage worse. Leslie said that she doesn't think it can make the brain damage worse, that she knows Timmy just isn't there, but that she wants them to verify that it is his heart so that Jim make an informed consent before a signing a DNR. She said that Jim is having a hard time still about Ryan's (grandson) death and that he continues to blame himself, and that he would blame himself about Timmy if he found after the fact that the hospital had not given him all the facts. She's made peace that Timmy is gone, but she said that going to be getting Jim that point will take some patience.
They are looking at putting Timmy back in ICU, sedate him, and putting him back on the vent. Leslie said she would know more in a few days. If you can put out some prayers, I would appreciate it. I don't know that it's going to be much longer.
They are looking at putting Timmy back in ICU, sedate him, and putting him back on the vent. Leslie said she would know more in a few days. If you can put out some prayers, I would appreciate it. I don't know that it's going to be much longer.
poppy
Offending Member
Oh my gosh, why is the medical team approaching it that way? Reminds me of when a doctor patted my mother's knee like she was a child, and said wait at least 3 more weeks for a PET scan - because it's so expensive. She died of stage 4 cancer 6 weeks later after a pointless surgery he scheduled (follow the $$). When I objected to them not giving her the PET, the doctors ganged up and said I was the problem. Of course the scan would have shown the surgery was pointless.
I know it was a different situation but I smell this having something to do with insurance money. Just give him the CT scan and then talk about the DNR. And if their hands are tied, they need to say so and why.
Sending prayers to all, heartbreaking.
GemInEye
Well-Known Member
Prayers and hugs Benni!!